he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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