My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
