remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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