Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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