I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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