we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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