Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
