Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
