just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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