we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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