Capitaan dildo arrescate!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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