Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
