Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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