Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
