unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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