Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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