Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
