I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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