Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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