around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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