remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i believe in u and ur pee
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