So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
