They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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