Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
