Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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