If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
