I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I didn't notice because vodka
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
MIDGETS
????
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
