i just wanna soil my oats bro
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
