He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
is that a dick in a sweater?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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