The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
