Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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