There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
