I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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