There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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