omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
