Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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