we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
