i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
