i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
