we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
