just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
