ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
