This is not my ceiling
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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