I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
