You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
