a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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