you lied. pity sex is amazing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
