I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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