but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
