I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
