dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
